


seven days (to see the light)

by vent_ficpog



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Anorexia, Anxiety, Depression, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Other, Self-Harm, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, purpled and tommy and tubbo besties w ranboo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:28:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29987724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vent_ficpog/pseuds/vent_ficpog
Summary: wilbur decides to give life one last final shot. he gives himself seven days for life to improve, seven days to make a difference.seven days to see the light.or; wilbur decides if it doesn’t get better in a week, he will give up. here’s the week and what happens at the end :]
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 7
Kudos: 103





	1. day 0

you could say it started when he was six.

his mother and father had just left him on a street corner, snow falling rapidly around the little boy. all he had was his fathers massive yellow sweater and thin black jeans. he had a hat from his brother, who was much older than him. it was too large, but he clung to it like it was a lifeline. he remembers watching his parents walk away.

you could also say it only got worse.

when he was found, a homeless six year old, he was put into the foster care system. he went house to house just doing his best. he felt sad nearly all the time, he noticed. there would be short periods where the world felt like his oyster and he could do anything! but it was quickly followed by that long stretch of awful sadness.

and you could also say, it got a little better at age 11.

he was fostered by a nice man named phil. wilbur quickly took to calling him dad, feeling safe and comfortable in the home. it was different to his last homes; there were two boys who he called his brothers near immedietly. a short boy the same age as him had dark brown hair, later ending up pink. he did wonder about tommy, though. phil told him one day that his sister was no longer his sister, and mentally never had been. he told wilbur to call him tommy. and he never questioned it once.

my point is, you could say a lot of things. you could say it was just the tip of the iceberg that sent him flying off the rails. you could say he changed minor things in his lifestyle in subtle hopes he’d die; he stopped eating, stopped buckling his seatbelt in hopes the car just so happened to veer off the road. you could say fuck all.

and he knew that. he knew that people were probably saying things about him as he sat alone in the cold lunch room, nothing but his phone infront of him. he watched with envy as the other kids ate and with anger as he ignored it to continue his homework.

he was vaguely aware that he was all too thin. he knew the looks he got, the rumors that ran rampant through the hallways of the dim high school. he’d been adopted by phil, and he thought that would fix all his problems. but even at age sixteen, it all still felt just as dull.

the bell screeched and he forced himself to stand, blinking the black spots from his vision and ignoring the weak feeling in his bones. he barely had any thoughts as he walked down the hallway. only one thing ran in his mind.

seven days. he’d give himself seven days to fix it all. he’d give life one more shot, and if it didn’t improve, he’d finally end it like he had wanted to for so many years. he smiled at the thought all throughout the rest of the day, and when he fell asleep as the clock struck midnight, the countdown began.


	2. day 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day 1

he blinked open his eyes slowly. full sunlight fell across his room and thin waves of cold wafted in from the window. he stared up at his ceiling and listened idly to the sounds of the house. he could hear tommy racing around the hallways and technos keyboard through the thin wall. he recognized the smell of phil cooking and winced.

he turned towards the wall and closed his eyes, trying to go back to sleep. he knew his time had begun, but he deserved to sleep in. he drifted between consciousness and sleep for awhile before a knock on his door startled him.

”wil?” said a small voice from the door.

wilbur rubbed his eyes and turned over, smiling at tommy standing in the doorway. “hey. what’s up?”

”can you help me with my english homework? i have an essay and technos busy.” he frowned and held up a computer and a book, shifting awkwardly.

”of course.” wilbur waved him in and began reading what he had so far, giving him tips.

time passed quickly and soon tommy’s essay was done and wilbur was fully awake. he was just finishing the conclusion when he spoke up.

”hey wilbur?”

”yeah?” he replied, adjusting his glasses.

tommy looked away and spoke again. ”im worried about you.”

”why?” wilbur frowned.

“i just. i don’t think it’s normal to be that... little?” he explained, scratching his neck.

wilbur raised his eyebrows and looked at his arms and the way the skin dipped in passed the bones of his elbow. “what?”

”are you like.. anorexic, or something?” he said hesitantly.

wilbur laughed lightly and smiled. “no, tommy. ive just always been pretty scrawny, don’t worry bud.” he reassured. he ruffled tommy’s hair and moved to lay down and go back to bed.

”dad was calling doctors this morning,” tommy frowned and continued. “asking if it was normal. how you act with food.”

wilburs eyes widened slightly and he adjusted his glasses. “what?”

tommy shrugged. ”he was asking about getting you admitted to some hospital, i don’t know.”

wilbur looked out his window and his face fell. his voice cracked slightly as he spoke. “tommy, there’s nothing wrong. tell dad that.”

tommy winced but nodded, standing and waving goodbye as he left. the moment the door was shut wilbur sprung to his desk and wrapped his hand around a razor that rested in his top desk drawer. he slipped into the bathroom attached to his room and collapsed to the floor, blindly slicing.

—————

dear dad,

hey! it’s wilbur. except uhm. i’m like probably dead if your reading this. life’s been real shit. tommy told me you wanted to get me checked into inpatient for eating problems. i hope you don’t bother with that. anyway, i guess i owe you an explanation. i’m anorexic. i self harm. might as well spill this all because i’ll be dead yknow? anyway i have been doing all that for like, five years. i’m like this because of a girl who lets call gabby. she’s real shit dad. she screwed me up. i love you, i love tommy and techno and my guitar and most of all, this family. thanks for giving me a place and here’s to my last hurrah.

love,

Wilbur Soot Watson

—————

he folded the paper and hid it in his desk drawer. he winced at the feeling of pain burning under his sleeve, but attempted to ignore it. he crawled into bed and drifted through sleep and awake for hours.

it was around 11PM now and he was idly scrolling on social media. he had written a letter, he had done all he could for today. tomorrow he figured he’d write another. it burned at his heart, knowing he could be dead soon. he was happy in a sense, for he would be free. but that meant leaving his family and friends. alex, schlatt, dream, george and sapnap. all of them. leaving them. phil, tommy, techno, tubbo and their strange friends ranboo and grayson. it meant leaving all of that.

he wasn’t sure he cared.


	3. day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day 2

the next day he woke up with a start, desperately shoving his blankets to the floor and screaming as he clawed at his skin. he shouted and grabbed his hair, trying to escape the nightmare. he still felt the hands grasping at him and it felt like he was dying. he swore he was dying.

his door flew open as techno sprinted in, scanning the room. “wilbur! i heard screaming, what’s wro-“

technos eyes stopped solidly on his brothers arms. dark scars and fresh red lines rested on the skin and technos face dropped.

”wilbur. what is that?” he asked with fear, closing the door behind him. 

wilbur went to speak but no words could escape. he had no clue how to respond.

techno wrapped his hand around wilburs wrist gently and flipped his arm over, examining it in the faint light of the early morning. wilbur wretched his arm backwards and slumped against the wall.

”techno. don’t say anything. okay?” wilbur pleaded quietly. he shifted awkwardly and spoke again. “i won’t do it again! everyone has their things and this is just.. one of mine.”

”that’s not just ‘a thing,’ wilbur. we need to tell dad-“

”tell dad about me and i’ll tell him everything about you.” wilbur snapped.

technos face fell slightly and he hesitated. “like what?”

”about that guy you sneak around with. about the drugs and the constant drinking. how you don’t sleep. your grades slipping,” wilbur laughed lightly. “must i continue?”

techno scoffed and stood. “fucking fine. just.. don’t do it again. i’ll check.”

wilbur rolled his eyes as techno left the room, laying back down. he checked the time and flipped over in bed, allowing himself to look out his window. he watched the stars slowly slip away and the sun rise. eventually, he figured he should get up.

he approached his desk and grabbed some paper and a pen and began to write.

_dear techno,_

_you are quite the person aren’t you? sorry that i threatened to tell dad about your issues. wasn’t fair of me. i guess it makes sense now, though. i’m dead, isn’t that weird? i’ve always been here, doing stupid shit that had no impact on the future. but this does. this is something meaningful. i guess it’s better to write this than leave nothing, but i still feel just as shit. i wonder if you all had any idea i was dying. any idea that i don’t eat enough and any idea that i am just deteriorating. it hurts, i guess. but it’s okay. i love you techno, be strong._

_love,_

_wil._

he tucked the note away by the other he had written and slipped on a hoodie to make his way downstairs. he noticed techno and phil cooking while tommy watched TV. 

technos eyes shot to wilbur before dropping quickly. phil noticed him just after.

”wil! family breakfast. we haven’t had one in weeks.” phil announced, clapping his hands together.

”oh, no. i’m okay.” he replied, moving to grab a soda from the fridge. he grabbed a diet coke and raced away before phil could question him.

he turned on his computer and began to text alex, schlatt, dream, and punz on discord. they all organized quickly to call and soon the boys were all on minecraft. wilbur found it hard to remain present and pay attention as his mind raced but time passed quickly. he signed off and resigned to his bed, not bothering to prepare for school tomorrow.


	4. day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day 3

he really didn’t feel like getting out of bed today.

he’d made no progress. he’d not done one damn thing. and now he had to go to school and act like everything was normal. act like he wasn’t going to be dead in a matter of days.

a gentle knock on his door did nothing for him. phil slowly walked in eyeing his son.

”hey mate. we’ve got to hit the road in about ten minutes. can you get ready pal?” he asked gently.

wilbur shrugged and slowly crawled from his bed, waving phil out of the room. he stood up allowing his knees and back to pop before sliding on a sweater and jeans. he didn’t even have to remind himself to grab his beanie as it was nearly automatic now.

he grabbed his backpack and made his way downstairs. he brushed past the dining room table and grabbed a monster from the fridge before walking out to the car and climbing in the front seat. his brothers and father following suit quickly.

the bell rang and he practically sprung from his seat. he raced out of the classroom and outside into the cold air. he dug a cigarette and his lighter from his pocket and ducked around the back of the building, lighting it and inhaling deeply. he smoked in silence until someone startled him.

”hey shitass. what’cha doing all the way out here? lunch is inside.” alex said, skipping over.

wilbur quickly threw his cigarette under his shoe and crunched it, smiling. “nothing. why?”

”you’ve been weird lately and techno says you shouldn’t be alone. also the lunch table misses you.” he shrugged and sat down beside wilbur, elbowing him light heartedly.

wilbur scoffed and folded his arms. “of course he did. alex can we just.. ditch? rest of the day?”

alex smiled widely and jumped up. “you don’t have to ask me twice.”

wilbur immedietly began sprinting off the school grounds, alex swearing at him to slow down but eventually catching up, panting.

”long legged freak, dear god.” alex coughed. he looked up and took in his surroundings. “the beach? it’s cold!”

”who cares?” wilbur said laughing. he took a small portable speaker out of his backpack and began to play tristam - before we fade. he knew alex liked EDM, so he figured it was a good shot. 

he raced towards the end of the pier and let the salty water hit his face as the rain fell from the sky lightly, thunder rolling in the distance. 

the beat of the music hit and alex smiled beside him. “y’think punz will get mad at me?”

”what, your brother? mate, that guy gets mad at everything.” wilbur laughed. 

“yeah, he told me to walk grayson home, so we will have to get back in time to do that.” alex glanced over at wilbur and he sighed. “speaking of brothers, how are those demons?”

”annoying as ever. technos on my ass about school and tommy’s just... tommy.” wilbur listened into the music softly and smiled.

”grayson keeps having tommy, tubbo and ranboo over and they are going to make me rip my hair out.” quackity groaned and dropped his head into his hands.

wilbur laughed and flung an arm around alexa shoulder, leaning his head on alex’s beanie. “god, i feel your pain. i’ve missed you guys, yknow? you guys do know how much i care about you all, right?”

alex nodded as best as he could, considering wilbur was leaning against him. “yeah, of course we know. and we care about you too, that’s why we are so worried.” 

“worried? what?”

”i mean..” alex sighed and continued. “you are just like. abnormally small i guess. and you’ve been withdrawn,” he explained.

wilbur frowned. “i’m okay, i promise alex.” wilbur picked up his phone and saw the time, swearing. “if we gotta walk your twerp brother home we better run back to school. i have to get tommy home, too. since technos at practice or something.”

alex laughed and the two took off running in the rain which was slowing significantly, music still playing through the speaker.

”alex! i’m so telling mom.” grayson shouted, seeing alex and wilbur running from the road.

”what’s puffy gonna do? shout at me? i’m a junior, pal.” alex said, ruffling his brothers hair.

”wilbur!” tommy shouted, running towards the group. “can i go hang out with tubbo, grayson, and ranboo?”

wilbur shrugged. “text dad. he probably won’t care and we are walking grayson home now so come along.”

the walk was silent besides the two young boys joking with each other. once they arrived at alex’s house, tommy and grayson went inside and wilbur and alex continued walking towards wilburs home.

wilbur withdrew a cigarette from his pocket and a lighter, lighting to quickly and taking a drag.

”can i try?” alex asked.

wilbur blew the smoke out and raised an eyebrow. “sure. don’t you already smoke? like weed?”

”well yeah, but i’ve not tried cigs.” alex rolled his eyes and took the cig from wilbur, taking a drag and blowing the smoke out.

”not bad, right?”

”not my favorite, but eh, it’s fine.” alex replied, passing back the cig.

wilbur nodded and took a drag. he finished the cig quickly and stomped it out on the wet concrete, rounding the corner to his house. he and alex quickly went inside, talking and playing video games until alex had to go home around 10PM. he quickly scattered to his desk and began to write.

_dear alex + punz + dream + george + nick_

_hey shitheads! i’m dead lol. me and alex went to the beach today to skip class and the lyrics of the song i played are bounding around my head. “it’s a useless waste of time, i don’t care what’s on your mind. the truth was never for us to find.” and thinking about it, the truth of why i’m doing this isn’t for you all to know. i know you’ll want answers but i don’t even have any. thanks for all the time you all gave me. alex, protect that shithead brother of yours. punz, watch over alex and said shitheat brother. dream, take care of tubbo! little man needs his big brother. george.. ur kinda just george. i’m jk but take care of yourself. stay hydrated! nick, check on ranboo won’t you? little man needs you. wow you really all have little siblings jesus. anyway, i love you all and read this when you need it._

_love,_

_lanky leg freak_

he made copies of the note for each person and tucked it beside the others, laying in bed and quickly drifting off.


	5. day 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day 4

he ran and ran until his lungs couldn’t grasp the air. he ran out of his room, down the stairs, and right out the front door. he just ran. he wasn’t sure where he was going but he figured he needed somewhere.

he ended up back at the end of the pier.

did he really have to go all seven days?

why not just cut his time short?

he’d written notes, he’d said his goodbyes. he could end it all now by falling down into the freezing water. he could let go of the railing and he’d be gone.

he wasn’t sure what time it was. his phone was ringing non stop but he didn’t care to check it. cars passed by the pier, fully aware a boy was waiting for the tide to take him right at the end. it was no secret.

he loosened his grip on the railing and took a deep breath, starting a countdown from three.

_three,_

_two,_

_one-_

”wilbur?”

he spun around and his eyes landed on a tall boy wearing a half and half dyed face mask. his hair was neat and clean.

”ranboo? jesus christ, go home.” he muttered, turning back towards the water.

”can we talk? away from the edge.” he pleaded. ranboo moved a few feet closer to the end of the pier and waited.

”fuck off. go home. go see that shithead brother of yours and go to school in the morning. go home at night to your family.” wilbur smiled sadly, knowing he would never do any of that again.

“nick knows i’m out here, i was going on a walk.” ranboo explained, moving forward more. “let’s just talk, okay?”

”about what? fucking what? do you understand what i see right now? i see a thirty foot drop into freezing water and i see an escape.” wilbur shouted, choking on his words as he loosened his grip even more on the railing.

ranboo quickly sprung forward and grabbed onto wilburs arm just as he let go, shouting as he held the older boy above the water.

”wilbur! let’s talk, dear god.” ranboo shouted. he hauled wilbur back over the railing and stood between the boy and the pier end. “what’s wrong?”

”every fucking thing that could be wrong, ranboo! every god damn thing! i’m fucking fat and disgusting, for one. i can’t go a day without drinking or smoking. i can’t breathe unless i have a fucking razor to slice my arms. everything’s wrong! don’t you get that?” wilbur screamed, gesturing wildly. “my skin is too fucking tight on my body and all i want is to fall into the god damn water. can you just let me have that you jerk?”

ranboo stared sadly at wilbur for a moment before moving forward and wrapping him in a hug. he let wilbur talk until he couldn’t anymore and he let wilburs tears fall sadly on his shoulder.

by the time the sun rose, ranboo was walking wilbur home and swearing to secrecy. they waved goodbye and wilbur ran up to his room, texting phil he couldn’t go in to school that day. he drifted in and out of consciousness until sleep overtook him late at night.


End file.
